Relationship Dynamics & Conflict Resolution Flashcards

A coach notices that a couple's conflict always centers on the same topic despite multiple sessions. This suggests the coach should explore:

Answer: The perpetual problem versus solvable problem distinction and underlying dreams/values

Gottman's research distinguishes perpetual problems (rooted in fundamental personality or value differences) from solvable problems; perpetual conflicts require exploring the underlying dreams and values they represent.

In the context of relationship coaching, 'flooding' or 'diffuse physiological arousal' (DPA) during conflict refers to:

Answer: An overwhelming stress response that impairs a partner's ability to process information

Flooding (DPA) is a state of physiological overwhelm—racing heart, elevated cortisol—that literally impairs cognitive processing, making productive conflict resolution impossible until the person regulates.

Which intervention is MOST appropriate when a client is emotionally flooded during a coaching session?

Answer: Taking a 20-30 minute break to allow physiological self-regulation

Research by Gottman shows it takes approximately 20 minutes for the body to physiologically calm from flooding; taking a structured break for self-soothing is the most effective intervention.

The concept of 'gridlock' in relationship conflict coaching refers to:

Answer: A recurring conflict where neither partner can budge without feeling they've betrayed a core value

Gridlock, in Gottman's model, describes a perpetual conflict that has become painful and stuck because it involves each partner's core dreams, values, or deeply held positions.

When coaching a couple where one partner grew up in a household that avoided all conflict, a coach would MOST likely help this client understand:

Answer: How their conflict avoidance may have served them as a child but creates distance in adult relationships

Family of origin patterns around conflict are adaptive responses to childhood environments; coaching helps clients recognize when these patterns are outdated and no longer serve their adult relationships.

A couple shares that they fight intensely but also repair quickly and feel deeply connected after conflicts. According to relationship research, this pattern is BEST categorized as:

Answer: A volatile couple style that can be stable if positive interactions outweigh negative ones

Gottman's research identified volatile couples as one of three stable couple types; their high-intensity conflicts are balanced by equally high passion and repair, making their relationship sustainable.

The 'softened startup' technique in conflict resolution coaching is used to:

Answer: Begin conversations about problems with complaints rather than criticisms

Softened startup involves beginning difficult conversations with 'I feel...' and a specific complaint rather than 'You always/never...' (criticism), which prevents defensiveness and keeps conversations productive.